@watchjojogo

People often say they don’t know how I do it. Sometimes I want to respond by saying ‘I wasn’t given a choice.’#This past month has been an emotional one for me as I have witnessed a friend of mine begin to learn how to live her life without her 3 year old son, who died in a tragic accident. My heart physically hurts for her. And I recognize the eerie sadness and grief that surrounds her. As strange as it sounds I am so grateful I can walk beside her through this dark time in her life and give her a glimmer of hope that someday she will feel joy again and that life will go on, despite feeling like it won’t at this point in her journey. And she will go on living. And she will be ok. It has caused me to reflect a great deal on the last 6.5 years since losing our 2yr old son Lincoln. It’s brought back a lot of memories and emotions I had pushed aside. To be honest, a little part of me is honestly amazed I’ve made it this far. Amazed I get out of bed each day. And have found happiness again. I see her now and wonder how I do it. And of course I know the obvious answers are because of my other 3 children who need me and remind me of how beautiful life is. But goodness it has been a very long and hard road and some moments have been very very dark, I won’t lie. But through the darkness I have found ways to deal with my grief and I feel so blessed for a family and incredible friends who still, 6 years later, encourage me to talk about Lincoln. I told my friend she will find an outlet for her grief. For her saddens. For her anger. And for the humongous hole she now walks around with in her heart. One of those things for me has been movement. It’s motion. It’s lifting heavy weights. Feeling sweat drip down my face and hearing the pounding of my heart. I’m so grateful for my health. For my life. And for the reminder that Lincoln gave us to slow down, be still, breathe, and see joy in each and every precious day. #mytherapy